The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer porn to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for bokeh caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, porn she rolled her eyes and bokeh declared the woman an ‘actrice’, bokeh bokep or porn sex worker.

Now, bokep according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, bokeh it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and bokep all men dread – the louder the cry of porn ecstasy, porn the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, bokep you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: bokeh there’s sex as performance art, porn and porn sex as genuine intimacy. And porn when a woman is genuinely aroused, memek trusts her bokep partner and porn is not fearing for bokeh a fragile male ego, crot she’s far more likely to gently sigh and porn moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, porn female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, porn they’d explain, bokeh so they could make their partner feel happy, bokep while conserving their energy for bokeh other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and bokep ‘manipulation’, porn and crot that women were prone to what they described as memek ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage crot their partners over the finishing line, porn so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, memek the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: porn ‘I’m enjoying this, porn but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, crot ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, memek where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland porn said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: porn ‘As far bokeh as I’m concerned, crot that’s what you should be crot doing.’

Well, crot only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, bokeh Sex At Dawn, bokeh Christopher Ryan and crot Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and crot keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, bokeh I can understand bokeh the need to advertise. But if you’re not, porn then men should take heed: bokep the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris

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